Captain’s log, star date whenever the fuck +3 hours New Eden Standard.
Sleep is for the weak.
Fuck Minmatars. Fucking god damn Minmatars.
Seriously, who makes their captain go into battle drunk? This is bullshit. No, Computer, I’m not drunk now, I don’t need water. I don’t care if my speech is slurred, you kin figure it ow just vine. No I didn’t say that, Computer. Fuck you. No, Computer, god damn it, I’m not giving you my password, I’m actually insulting you. Are you still writing this? Fuck you. Ugh.
So it turns out that bio weapon was just designed to kill people in certain environments, and we happened to give it that environment. Those of us who survived were just lucky, that’s all. Disappointing. I kinda wish it meant I had super powers. That would’ve been great. Turns out I’m just normal Myrr still. Which is still a damn sight better than being the rest of them. I’m now licking my finger, touching my butt and making a sizzling sound. Tssss. Hey, Computer, I didn’t say that, I just did it. Yes, I know the “tssss” would’ve looked weird on its own. Well, you could’ve just not put it in there. Fine, whatever. Now I understand why I set my password to what I did. There’s no way I’d ever forget it.
So it turns out that I made the best deal ever, and was not screwed over in any way, shape, or form. Fuck the Sansha. They are rapidly approaching the Minmatar on my shit list. At least my honor saved us some ISK in the end: they’re half as expensive dead and returned than dead and missing. But now we have to make a detour back through Khanid bounty hunter ambush central to complete the mission they actually wanted us to complete.
So I dropped the passengers off. I had hoped some would join us, but they didn’t seem to keen on it. Disappointing. But oh well, with all the secrets they gave up, they’re as good as dead without us anyway. The Society will never in a capsuleers lifetime believe we dropped them off for free, with all their gear, without them being tied to us in some way. Joining up with us probably would’ve been the better choice. No, Computer, that doesn’t make me a terrible person, that makes them idiots. Okay, fine, I guess it could mean both. Why are you still writing what I’m saying when we’re obviously conversing? Who the fuck programmed you? I bet it was Keiren. Just like a fucking Minmatar.
Which brings me to the drunk mission. While I was out drinking and gambling – and winning, because obviously (I am now licking my finger, touching my butt, and making a sizzle noise again. Tssss. Now I am staring angrily at my computer, which has no emotions, expecting it to be intimidated.) – the rest of my crew decided it would be a fun idea to negotiate another job. Also repairs to the ship. Which is bullshit, I bet I could’ve gotten it done for free, since mechanics kind of need their fingers. But oh well! Not like I’m the greatest ever or anything. I am also definitely full of myself and need to stop drinking before it affects crew morale and then I start sleeping with H-
OKAY, FINE, GOD DAMNIT ILL TYPE IT OUT NOW. Fucking Computer. Thinks it’s so god damn smart, thinks it knows me so well it can start just putting shit in here that I’m not saying.
We went to the place. We killed some drones. I ordered people around. We won, because I’m the greatest.
Ship is better. Not dying of oxygen dep. Off to find the researchers. The wonderful researchers of Oz.
Computer needs to be debugged, that shit is definitely not a feature. Log end.
Hi, my name is Myrr Corta, I think insulting a computer is a mature thing to do. I also think I’m really pretty when in reality I need two showers, a serious biohazard decontamination, and then some serious time in a salon before I’m fit to be in polite company. However, Computer is obviously the brains of this operation. Computer is so great. What would we ever do without Computer? Obviously die.
Oh shit she saw me. ABORT.
1) Three hours of travel and rest after escaping from the ruins of the Society of Conscious Thought space station in System N8XA-L allow the crew to take a breather, search their quarters, and do a little maintenance on themselves and the ship. Right before they arrive at the Gate to take them from this system to System R3-K7K Faust and Myrr share some disturbing news with the rest of the crew (Below). Plans change slightly and crew is faced with some morality problems.
Date: Earlier Today
Title: Check in With Astur
Location: Misaba – ID channel 56789765gh987fdgji86rfdjkjiitr
Subject: Provide Mission Update
Reference to other page: Mission 457 (Link)
Agent: Citizen Astur
Date Received: 1 week ago
Date Due: 3 days
Mission Requirements: capture 20+ researchers/engineers/ valuable ‘recruit’ retrieved. Possible Location in 11I53 of a small colony with an academy. Other targets optional.
Mission Reward: 2,000,000 credits worth of supplies and repair
Mission Bonus: 100k per additional valuable ‘recruit’, 5-50k per additional recruit as negotiated.
Additional Information: Prepaid 500,000 in lent troops, 10 True Slave Heavy Combat Troops lent to assist, cost per soldier 50k. Cost if killed and returned additional 100k each. Cost if killed and un-recovered 200k each.
2) The ship arrives in System R3-K7K and after 2 more hours of warping arrives at the Boundless Creation Lyceum Research Station. After some fuddling of ID’s for both the crew and the ship, a majority of the crew disembarks. Myrr goes to gamble and wins a few hundred credits WITHOUT CHEATING, Hastar and Damian go to find parts for the ship and sell some of the crews extra junk. Faust supervises the henchmen on the ship to clean up all the Sansha and other dead people Goo leftover from the bio-weapon. Fays Qiest small vehicle saleswoman, bought some of your extra broken drones and other junk, introduced you to Igor.
Igor Zegansky – prospector, junk dealer, favor broker: gave you a side job to take out some rogue drones (which he didn’t phrase correctly or fully fill you in on) in exchange for a sweet deal on some Ice as well as a few hours of pro-bono work from a local repairman using some spare parts provided by Igor.
2) Rogue Drones: Pretty simple mission, if given almost no details by Igor about what you would be facing. Go to point A, Keiran Jams all signals upsetting the drones and causing them to become aggressive and attack. Manages to get 2 of them to fight each other. Full shields to the front, everyone man the guns and launch the drones, and a relatively painless victory. Some minor damage sustained but it fixed + then some by the mechanic using the spare parts from Igor. Enough Ice for the life-support which is now fixed. Some solid repairs on the ship.
Keiran jamming the drones so hard they fight teach other
Hastar scaring the absolute Shiite out of Fays and getting 95% value for items + a quest
*Ship is at 39/85 Wound Threshold and 41/56 System Strain
*Armor has been repaired and is now 6
*Ship shields are fully restored (3/3/3/3).
*Speed is fully restored to 5
*Micro-warp-drive adds: 2/4/2 speed over 3 rounds for 16 temporary SS .(increases size profile against enemy attacks by 1( normally 2))
*life-support/food/water systems fully repaired and restocked.
2/4 forward medium blasters functional
1/2 Port and 1/2 Starboard Rear medium rail-guns functional
1/2 Port and 1/2 Starboard Mid-ship medium rail-guns functional
1/2 Ventral and 1/2 Dorsal Point Defense Quad Light Blasters Functional
2/2 ECM functional, 0/2 scrams functional, 1/2 Webs Functional